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A place to better understand BPD, c-PTSD, attachment patterns, and how they can shape our experiences and relationships.

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What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

01 — Borderline Personality Disorder

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What is Complex PTSD?

02 — Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. In many cases, environmental factors associated with BPD involve a lack of attunement. This occurs when our caregivers consistently and repeatedly do not meet our needs, for whatever reason, which can contribute to attachment trauma.

Another potential cause of attachment trauma is a lack of consistent access to caregivers. This can occur even when caregivers are physically present but emotionally unavailable or inaccessible because their attention is focused elsewhere.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

01 — Borderline Personality Disorder

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What is Complex PTSD?

02 — Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD)

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What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

01 — Borderline Personality Disorder

What is Complex PTSD?

02 — Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD)

Attachment trauma can also contribute to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD). When we experience c-PTSD, we experience cumulative trauma over a long period of time. Think of it as “death by a thousand paper cuts.” We experience an invalidating environment and/or a lack of attunement for so long that we learn our environment is predictably unpredictable. We learn that we can sometimes get our needs met if our caregivers’ needs are met first.

We learn that we cannot trust the environment around us, and sometimes become despondent as a result. Other times, we may become hypervigilant because we are in a frequent state of alertness. We may have to self-regulate in order for our caregiver to regulate, which can be a scary experience for a child.

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Understanding Mental Health

Attachment patterns refer to the responsiveness we receive from caregivers during the first years of our lives and how it impacts our adult relationships. The attachment pattern we develop as children can resurface when we become adults and form romantic relationships.

There are four types of attachment patterns:

Understanding Attachment Patterns

Our caregivers demonstrate consistency and responsiveness to our needs. We become stressed when they leave and are comforted when they return. We trust that we are their first priority, and we can rely on them to return in a predictable fashion.

As adults, we demonstrate a secure attachment pattern by trusting our partners, forming bonds with others relatively easily, communicating effectively, productively resolving conflict, and self regulating our emotions.

Our caregivers are inconsistent in responding to our needs. We become stressed when they leave because we cannot trust they will return predictably. As a result, we may struggle to trust others and find comfort in their return.

As adults, we may demonstrate an anxious attachment pattern by distrusting our partners, disliking alone time, feeling insecure or jealous, needing reassurance, feeling inadequate, and fearing abandonment.

Our caregivers demonstrate inconsistency in their responsiveness to our needs. We are not stressed when they leave and do not seek comfort when they return. We are not responsive to our caregivers or strangers. We learn not to seek comfort from our caregivers.

As adults, we may demonstrate an avoidant attachment pattern by being emotionally unavailable, avoiding commitment and intimacy, struggling to stay connected to our partners when apart, and finding it difficult to trust others.

Our caregivers are unpredictable. They may fly into a rage and then demonstrate a willingness to meet our needs. We learn to behave as erratically as them, and our attachment pattern becomes an unpredictable mix of anxious and avoidant.

As adults, we may demonstrate a disorganized attachment pattern by combining anxious and avoidant patterns. We may struggle to trust, feel insecure, fear abandonment, struggle regulating our emotions, and experience contradictory behaviors.

If you’re interested in exploring this work more deeply, therapy is a space where we can make sense of these ideas together and apply them to your own experiences.

Alyssa Balasco MS, MSW, LCSW, CYT

I’m Alyssa, a California-based psychotherapist specializing in attachment trauma and relationship patterns.

I work with adults who want real understanding and meaningful change

licensure (LCSW): 113260